This weekend I got to "parent," meaning I made the mistake of answering the phone without checking the caller ID and further compounded the mistake of answering "Nothing" when asked about any weekend plans. Instead of being left to enjoy my summer cold in peace, I was pestered to turn off the cable box's parental control, witnessed a teen eat pizza four meals in a row, and dealt with a football uniform and shoes following a morning scrimmage. Between spraying everything down with Febreze and telling him "Heck no!" to the cable box request, I realized a few things. One, I should invest in whoever makes Febreze. Two, when I marry a rich guy I'm hiring a Nanny McPhee look alike to watch the kids so I won't have to deal with uniforms (or worry she'll steal my husband.) And three, I said the same things over and over (and over) again. So for all the parents/legal guardians/people who mistakenly answers the phone, this is for you.