Need I say more?
Apparently, yes, because there are some people who aren't going to vote because they are still undecided. Though this election cycle officially started around the Nixon administration, they are lost as to what to do. Last night visions of undecided voters danced in my head and all I could think of is this burning question:
Do undecided people eat?
Seriously, do these people eat? Are they able to pick up a menu and decide what they want? Or do they sit staring at the menu their entire lunch period because they can't chose between chicken teriyaki and beef stroganoff? Is it really that hard? Because our political choices look kind of like the menu board at In-N-Out: Do you want a soda or a shake? Cheese or no cheese?
And how can you live with an undecided person? One time in CostCo I watched a woman call her husband because she couldn't decide which detergent to buy. I wanted to yell, "Get the cheapest one with the nicest smell and leave the poor man alone!" But I didn't do that, though had I done so, her husband might have decided to divorce her and marry me on the spot. Thus, by keeping my mouth closed, I saved her marriage. (Considering she likely lives a better life than me, I sometimes question this decision.)
Look, I realize life is confusing, but it's important to make decisions about the place you live in. They're even bribing us with free coffee! So even if you don't care about democracy or where we live, or if 14 year-olds should be tried as adults, at least care enough about caffeine to get out there and pick someone!
You have until 8 pm.